If the c-store industry wants to get serious about advancing women leaders, we’re going to have to get rid of the B word: bossy.
Too many of us expect women to be supportive in the workplace and men to take charge. In our male-dominated workplace cultures, men are rewarded for being assertive and speaking their minds. Women are often judged—even disparaged—for these same traits.
The result: Our businesses are not benefiting from the collaborative, flexible leadership style of female leaders, a style valued by millennials and, as research by DDI, Lehigh University, McKinsey & Co. and others has shown, one that brings real results.
When women hesitate to demonstrate leadership behaviors necessary to build their careers, it doesn’t just hold them back. It also discourages male leaders from working outside corporate America’s outdated, less effective leadership style. Clinging to this old leadership model hurts businesses, which rise or fall on well-led, high-functioning teams composed of the best talent available.
Ask yourself: Are some of the women you work with perceived as “too nice” for leadership? Are women who do speak out considered “too bossy” (or worse)? Research shows that women are judged by a double standard. It’s a no-win situation for everyone.
Let’s give credit where credit is due. Many of this industry’s most successful companies are striving to change their workplace cultures and increase diversity in their leadership. Retailers are recognizing that women’s leadership and advancing high-potential talent to positions of more responsibility and greater visibility is essential to their business.
Still, these eff orts to close the gender gap are often thwarted by what three female Harvard faculty members call “a mismatch between how women are seen and the qualities and experiences people tend to associate with leaders.”
Inclusive and Profitable
The tide is changing. Maybe you’ve seen the popular hashtag #banbossy, part of the Ban Bossy movement launched in 2014 by LeanIn.org and Girl Scouts USA.
Ban Bossy’s mission is to eliminate the use of the word “bossy” because of its negative effect on young women. The campaign encourages girls to stop apologizing before they speak, challenge themselves and stop doing everyone else’s work—terrific advice for women who want to advance their careers. Ban Bossy also offers great tips for managers of women who want to nurture a workplace where everyone can succeed:
Push back on the “likability penalty.” We’ve all heard it: A woman is described as “out for herself” or “too aggressive.” Ask the person using that language (and yourself), “Would you say the same if she were a man?” My guess is the answer in most cases would be no. By the way, women are as likely as men to have a gender-biased reaction.
Get everyone to participate. Take note at your next team meeting. Are men sitting in the front and center seats while women are sitting around the edge? Are men doing most of the talking? Are women interrupted more than men? If so, ask women directly to contribute to the conversation; when they do, call out their contributions by name.
Encourage women to negotiate. Men are much more likely than women to negotiate for a raise or promotion because women fear being perceived unfavorably. Make sure everyone on your team knows it’s important to advocate for themselves and ask for what they deserve.
Distribute the work equally. Most women find their careers stalled in support roles as promotions go to those—mostly men—who are given roles with P&L responsibility. Are the women you work with turning down stretch assignments because they are concerned about a heavy workload, work/life balance or fear of failure? Try to understand why talented women may not be taking positions that lead to bigger things.
Mentor and sponsor women. Women have a harder time finding influential mentors and sponsors than men do. Are you and the male leaders in your company championing high-potential women, or are the men choosing male protégés who share the same interests and viewpoints?
Every manager can chip away at unconscious gender bias. Stop using the word “bossy” and focus on other B words: the benefits of diverse and inclusive teams and a better workplace and bottom line for all.
Joan Toth is president and CEO of the Network of Executive Women. Reach her at jtoth@newonline.org.
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